Reason Algorithms Can’t Predict Love

Many people have placed the responsibility for their personal happiness on algorithms. Dating app developers are partly to blame for this. They convinced us that with the advent of dating services, loneliness would cease to exist as a phenomenon. You need to specify your requirements for a partner, and the system will select ideal candidates for you. However, in practice, algorithms have proven to be great at recommending music or products. When it comes to human feelings, code is not enough.

How algorithms work

Most apps operate on the principle of matching. Algorithms analyse you (age, location, interests, etc.), as well as your behaviour in the app. They track which profiles you swipe left on, which ones you linger on, who you talk to, and who you ignore. For example, if you both like Italian cuisine, hiking in the mountains, and the TV show “Friends,” the algorithm sees this as a signal that you are compatible. However, shared interests are by no means a guarantee of a happy relationship.

The main problem with algorithms is that they work only with static data. They can compare the facts of your biography, but they cannot predict whether your sense of humour will match or whether your views on raising children will align. You may have a huge number of things in common, but feel no spark at all when you meet. The point is that the “chemistry” cannot be digitised. To an algorithm, you are just a set of characters. Nonetheless, love often arises despite everything, and compatibility often defies logic; that is why algorithms are often wrong.

The “paradox of choice” in dating apps

Algorithms trap us: when you’re faced with an endless stream of profiles, it becomes harder to choose. We become overly picky and selective, rejecting potential partners for the most ridiculous reasons, such as not liking the colour of their shirt. Psychologists call this the “paradox of choice.” The more options we have, the harder it is to settle on just one.

Most dating apps are built on a business model that focuses on keeping the user engaged, not on their personal happiness. The longer you use the app, the more profit its developers make. Therefore, despite loud promises, no one is really interested in making you find your soulmate immediately and deleting your profile. Just like social media feeds, the Tinder feed, and similar services are based on the principle of infinite scroll. You swipe through profiles, your brain gets a dopamine spike in anticipation of that perfect match, and you end up in a dopamine trap. You want to keep swiping because it feels like you’re about to meet “the one,” but you end up getting tired and disappointed in dating services.

Hence, more users are turning to an alternative, such as random video chats. For example, live video chat with girls OmegleTV.chat platform offers a different type of online communication experience. It is an analogue of the once-popular Omegle chat roulette. You talk to each other in real time, without texting and waiting to reply for ages. You don’t have to spend hours swiping in the hope of a match. The system selects a chat partner for you automatically and does it randomly. You can never predict who will be on the other side of the screen next, and this brings us back to online dating, with its unpredictability that regular dating services are missing so much.

Non-verbal signals and energy: what gets lost when we move online

In real life, we read each other in a fraction of a second. Non-verbal signals give us an enormous amount of information. By the tone of someone’s voice, the way their facial expression changes, or how they gesture. We can understand how they feel about us. When we communicate on the internet, we usually have text, and all the emotional nuance stays off-screen. We don’t see or hear the other person; hence, we can only guess what emotions and feelings they’re experiencing or whether they’re experiencing any at all.

Video chats solve this problem. When you talk via video, you once again have access to all those non-verbal cues: facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures. You can sense a person’s energy and understand whether you feel drawn to them or whether it is better to end the conversation immediately. At the same time, when you talk in an online videochat, you see the chat partner as they are in everyday life. There are no filters or masks, which means the risk of disappointment at an offline meeting is lower, because you’ve already seen the “real” person. By contrast, in social networks and dating apps, many people overuse Photoshop, post old photos, or go as far as using pictures that are not theirs. Also, when expectations and reality don’t match, there’s no way for a relationship to develop.

How to use technology as a tool, not as the solution

Technology is not our enemy. The problem is that we use it the wrong way. To avoid becoming a hostage to algorithms, you need to stop seeing them as a magic cure for loneliness.

Here are a few tips that will help you use technology for your benefit:

• Limit your time in apps: Do not turn the search for a partner into a job. Fifteen to twenty minutes a day to look through profiles is enough. If you spend hours swiping, people stop being interesting as individuals and turn into a “set of characters.” Once your time is up, close the app. This will help you avoid swipe fatigue and burnout.
• Talk via video: A short video conversation can give you more than hours of texting. It’s the fastest way to check how compatible you are and whether you actually want to keep getting to know each other better. In messages, all of us can seem perfect. However, only live communication shows the real picture. Therefore, don’t be afraid to suggest a video call. Also, if the other person persistently avoids this format, it is a serious reason to think about whether you’re wasting your time.
• Move from online to offline: Texting is only the first stage, and you shouldn’t get stuck there. The longer you stay in messages, the more your brain fills in the gaps and creates an image of the other person that, in most cases, doesn’t match reality. Therefore, if you like someone, suggest meeting in person.

Most importantly, don’t forget about life beyond your smartphone. The real world is full of people who are tired of gadgets and algorithms just like you. You can meet your better half in a park or a coffee shop. Random life-changing encounters still happen; give it a try!